Random thought – 1

யார் வீட்டு கல்யாணத்துக்கோ நான் மாப்பிளை என நினைத்து போய் கை சுட்டு வந்த கோமாளி நான்.

I went to some stranger’s wedding thinking myself as the groom and got burnt, such a fool am I.

[This saying is a result of an incident. I love kids, who doesn’t, and was invited to the sports day in my mom’s play school. I waltzed in as an owner instead of the observer I was supposed to be and got embarrassed.]

 

I am a nobody

I am a nobody. This realisation happened to me recently as I gave up on my ambitions one by one. I gave up on my dreams of becoming a Tamil movie director a while back. I have a completed movie script with me as well as scores of ideas. I still grasped at wanting to be a writer writing english novels. A while back I gave up on that too, I have a finished novel and a few incomplete ones too. I won’t blame external factors alone for my failure as I realise I probably wasn’t fit  enough or bestowed with talent needed to succeed and make it big. I have a restaurant that is yet to make profit. You can’t give up your dreams without grasping something else though that is what I did. My restaurant is where at least I must focus but there isn’t much to do with the Corona lockdown.

Being a nobody is acceptable to me. I am not craving for recognition but for utilisation so that people can benefit from my living as so far I have benefited from the world and given zilch in return. I am the absolute worthless nobody. I am a single who has recently, very lately, hung the ‘For Sale’ board in the arranged marriage market. I knew romance once and it is enough, I now crave kids and a family. Finding a bride for me is proving to be tough at thirty eight. I have nothing to live for as I stand. I want to benefit at least a few before I die. What is in my hands is nothing.

This blog with three hundred odd followers and averaging three to four likes is not going to cut it. Not only because it is meagre but also because of its demographics. The crowd here has few Indians and absolutely no Tamilians as far as I know. I want to connect locally, to be used for a greater cause. I am a classic rebel without a cause. The cosmos better send some cause for me soon for I fear I will end without use even after several more years have passed. I have something to give with no takers and that worthless feeling is horrible. Given my personal situation having no hopes of improving soon I felt like putting myself forward. This blog having been a personal blog for so long with so many of my so called poems I can’t change it or use it now in another direction or can I? I   have some ideas for changes in the world and concretely in my home state Tamil Nadu.

A few posts won’t cut it. I must live a life of commitment and dedication to benefit others.   I am a nobody and will the world guide me to become somebody that is utilised at least partly?

 

 

Amity – 1

Amity is everywhere and yet truly nowhere. From a theological view point there can be numerous reasons to endorse monotheism. But some bigots launch a tirade against polytheism. Theologically and in reality a polytheistic mindset can incorporate monotheism and similarly a monotheist can also adapt deeming lesser gods as prophets or other great folks. My argument in favor of polytheism is that it is an endangeared species with Hinduism being the only extant polytheistic faith. Another great fact is that despite the several gods the people live in amity (half truth as have to disregard caste strife),where the monotheistic faiths fight as to what kind or whose faith is supreme. One truth I know is diversity is god and amity is its product.

I swear

I swear. I am a lucky guy that don’t hesitate to use the F word that rhymes with luck. I might be a bewitching male chauvnist who often curses women with the B word that rhymes with witch. I dread the C word though. Not that innocent derogatory word for a woman’s body part that rhymes with blunt. No, I dread the vile C word that rhymes with haste. The haste that makes folks kill own blood in the name of honour. Summoning courage I utter that vile word once, Caste, but here after refer it as haste. I hate the connotation upper and lower in any area but here use the coined words lefter and righter perhaps. I thought of discussing it and criticize. But I am seeped in the sin of haste perhaps. Born in a small town and living there I can’t escape it and have asked folks what their haste was. Love marriages and cosmopolitan cities and an uncorrupted younger generation is the only solution to do away with this evil.

Whatever be it…

I swear. I swear at haste. I swear I will till my last breath fight it and try to usher an era and world without it.

Why do we live?

Why do we live? What is our purpose, principles and values? Do we have any integrity? Are we capable of loving and caring truly?

Or is it all an excuse to occupy ourselves till the next moments of lust satiation?

Whatever it is Kahlil Gibran says pleasure is good but seven are her sisters as good. So let us take time to indulge with those seven even as we are bound by lust.

Current behind screen person

In the era of heros like M.G.R and Sivaji, a director K.Balachandar (and Bharati Rajaalso) was setting trends as a director launching Kamal and Rajini. In era of Kamal and Rajini it was Manirathnam who used these heros too but was a pull factor even behind screens. In era of Ajith and Vijay who would be the one director who will last long with a career as these heros you reckon? I loved Iraivi and so Santhosh Subramanian and despite hating Petai laud him for trying Rajini and mainstream. Who will outlast these heros as directors behind the screens?

Few new murder mysteries

Hi

Been a while since the last post to post something other than a so called poem. I like stories of detectives solving crimes, hard boiled typical ones. In search of them I stumbled on a few that weren’t typical and yet I didn’t grudge them. When heard of Rowling writing these under a pet name Robert Galbraith, pounced. First one was okay but really couldn’t keep reading subsequent ones for it didn’t impress much. Anyway the books mentioned here aren’t the typical mysteries but very gripping tales with great style and narration.

Secret Place – Tana French

Not so normal family

Sharp Objects

 

 

 

Little Things vs Details

‘Little things’ and ‘Details’ tend to mean the same in general. Here with a context they shall mean different things.

‘The devil is in the details,’ they say. What it means the details or the minor things or trivia (or the little things) matter the most to get the desired consequence in an investigation or a writing project or any such thing. Of course details here mean the bigger things too are included with the minor to get an elaborate inclusive view of the situation. The devil can mean a few things but I take it to mean the finer points or details are the trickiest as opposed to any negative connotation.

‘Happiness resides in the little things of life.’ Well a line by me though am sure there must be a similar well known line. Here it means only those trivia of life forgetting the bigger picture or other major things in life.

What exactly are these little things? They are of course myriad yet one analogy seems fine. It is anything like doing a homework… or not doing it. Yes, anything, for as long as it is a little thing it can either be good or bad and never evil.

Routine like brushing, bathing etc are little and though we never have to focus on them we must realise that when not done it tends to spoil our day.

I haven’t mentioned things like dew or a rainbow or a surprise rain or other natural beauty or man made magnificence as you can very well fill it up better with things that pop in your mind when you think of little things.

A child’s smile, yes of course, so the next time smile back and play with it, simple like doing homework. If you’re bored playing take leave, not bothering about the audience, simple like not doing homework.

The auditor has requested details of your shop, sales is dwindling yet nothing can be done till the accountant arrives. Important client mail to be sent at your office, a few meetings to be scheduled, prepare a vital presentation but nothing can be done without the secretary returning from lunch. There is the game on your mobile, jokes on your computer too but not now with these worries you think. But why not? Is there none to talk to while away time. The janitor is working and you’ve seen him pretty much like another office apparatus and can’t talk now. Why not? At home you not only carry the work woes but also face great family woes. You envy your wife and daughter watching a TV series as you go for your regular walk. You remember that you have a movie you’ve been meaning to watch or that unfinished book, but do they matter really now. Yet some view getting in to these little things as helping reduce the stress in the modern world. Maybe after the walk instead of hurrying to bath you can sit and watch the movie with your wife and daughter. It is a worthier investment of your time I say, but unfortunately won’t happen often. So instead of sulking or dominating just watch TV with them with the remote in their hands.

Take time to connect to people both inside and outside of our work, and keeping it healthy by our regular presence, in at least a couple of social groups live if possible  and if not over the net. This is a healthy thing. Family, relatives, friends, colleagues, friends of friends, acquaintances are the overall break up of  people in our lives. Yet only if we keep in touch with them regularly in today’s world with phone or the net can we make them part of our network where one can rely on each other.

Forget all. Little things like a smile, a handshake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a salute, verbal welcome, warmth go a big way to create heaven on earth. Why should couples monopolise holding hands as long as held in affection by others. Take time out for movies and books and then share it with friends and folks though they might not be in  to it. The regular soft drink for an addict and a rare soft drink for a sugar patient, a blind catching a movie in theatre, Ice cream in the cold rain dancing with joy, parties frequently for no apparent reason but not just with regular crowd but maybe the old parents or younger siblings also invited. These and more little things and little exceptions are what makes our lives pleasurable and not the big money and big successes.