I am locked

I am locked in a prison by caregivers,
positioned as a despicable imbecile,
if only I hadn’t pined my hopes on her,
hope crushed, no life for a long while.

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I am a loser

I am a loser,
lost all I’ve got,
not any the wiser,
belong now to the hopeless sort,
slowly start to pitiful rot;

once hope whisked away,
nothing is there,
each moment painful disarray,
no roads to take anywhere;

Life is done,
there’s no pardon,
caged within the walls,
where no passion or profession calls;

Can’t be glad for delusions gone,
for then disillusionment reign,
Oh, who can ever understand,
the misery of one who has nothing to do;

time heals pain is okay for some,
time is pain for one who has to kill time.

I am happy

I am happy today about my life. I don’t know about tomorrow. Each day steady sway, no new mysteries. In the quest for writing I almost lost the all important skill of reading. I no longer wish to be a creator, I want to enjoy finer things in life like books and movies. But stuck at this moment even reading a book or seeing a movie seems an uphill task. Slowly I gotta ease back into my old self and old life. My goal has shifted from being successful to being a simpleton leading a simple life. I need support for this cause, for as much for successful, leading a simple life is tough pursuit. 

I used to dream

I used to dream with lavish wonder,
I used to think no surrender,
until one too many an opportunity,
I tore apart with such impunity;

I used to enjoy life bottoms up,
until I truly hit rock bottom,
eluded even the layman’s soiled cup,
not a single thing that I can drum;

excuses galore kept me on easy lane,
until they dried up into a harsh cane,
not a pathetic excuse to keep living,
all the years passed have no meaning;

the secret of life is instincts banal,
unlike most, can’t steer in civil canal,
caught in the act, no shame anymore,
brain took backfoot and heart tore,

there is evidence of love all around,
but why not in my withering heart bound.

When love betrays

When love betrays you,
of family, friends and sweeet heart,
and your truth betrays too,
and death not option aloft;

sanity already breached,
why happened thus,
god part betrayed leached,
but evil mind matters of sexual fuss;

went beyond moral probity,
actions of mind don’t count held,
did when spent money without priority,
all life wasted idly gelled;

not important is okay,
but what is the impotent sway.

I Realize Now

I realize now

what stuff

gods are made of

when I saw a dog

disappear only to be seen

few paces ahead.

God is not the reverse

of dog or man

but the connect of the individual

which perveades through all living

and non living things.

Dog or god all need to be

dealt with kindly.

Yet now I need to keep him away

for the little devil

I have turned out to be.

Neither man nor god can have it all.

One takes chances

or makes choices

to live through each day

after a level of maturity

after realizing we are

part gods of this

uni-

verse.

Am I a

Am I a Bi

Cycler

forwarding

messages

in a sensual dream

a puzzle for one and all

as too many vistas

open in dreams.

I want the reality called death

and happy me

and happy all others till that eventuality

what prevents me is the self image

thrust in me.

Someone please love me enough

to kill me slowly or quickly

for redemption lies in next life

but I don’t believe in rebirths

there are people who die

with unfulfilled wishes

and a few die without a wish

so who am I

and how shall I end

more aptly for what shall I end

people are medium of so called gods

so some God please

Answer me.