Once made a solemn

Once made a solemn vow

to be the one first to go,

prophecied it was eons ago,

even if were others in tow;

yet prayed for it once more,

why such furore, asked folks crore,

coz to me loss of pleasure,

greater than pain’s measure;

then why not gone in such anguish,

coz hope flutters and can’t squish,

of immortal writings and conquest,

yet unbearable burden of the test;

yet soon I will go,

without much ado.

knowing is not

Knowing is not doing,

I know killing,

doing is not feeling,

I do nothing,

feeling is not being,

I feel everything,

being is not living,

I be lost and drowning,

living is not loving,

I live for pleasures tempting,

loving is for enjoying,

I love just my sensuous pleasuring,

enjoying is escaping at joy’s ending.

At high noon

At high noon stared back at life,

what was got and what was lost,

time to reckon, not forced by strife,

but a tryst made by a longing past;

to cherish great joys and go when diminish,

joys that good can’t sustain and did lessen,

to keep promise, mid journey perish far before finish,

leave my rewards blind as much as miseries beyond reason;

unworthy final song, yet got no more to offer,

curse this duffer that gave little,

but decided long ago to die when it is time to here suffer,

dared challenge hell and heaven me brittle;

had great joys even as believe love and memories perish,

yet happy to carry them memories to the grave,

all say there are reasons more in life to cherish,

brave are those that live so pay no heed to my last rave.

Go away, silly one

Go away, silly one, that don’t know of loss,

dub yourself loser, leave joker, laughter not here,

wailed a lady in crowd, all noise did pause,

now clad colourful, old black dresses didn’t smear;

I spoke, I lost but a dream, not living, loving soul,

came not to mourn or share, yet I do care,

gone days of joy, nights of sleep, dreams stole,

gone thunder, rain, rainbow and lighting’s glare;

what desert, as gone the sand beneath my feet,

gone breeze, even mighty sea without time to see,

gone sweet home, now a thorn, my last retreat,

no refuge, no place known to shelter, nowhere to flee;

innocence lost, ignorance cost, spoilt forecast, time flew fast,

gone courage, morals, little laurels, tears and laughter,

gone stories, movies, idle banter, carefree canter of past,

know not where all went, my life spent, grew softer;

pride, confidence, dreams gone with skill and wisdom,

never lost any near and dear, just lost an empty dream,

not compare losses, my misery trifle, akin to boredom,

you lost forever, loved ones, to death, time’s stream;

music, song, poems and prose scribbles died long ago,

forgot drinks, dinners, friends with just cigarette in hand,

didn’t love a soul, lost none, yet your grief with me grow,

despite troubles and sorrow, your feet planted firm on land;

for you love and so live, I merely forgive, you strive, you give,

give your thought and action calmly to those that remain,

those gone, a strong memory, you forever mourn and grieve,

parent, sibling, child or friend, leave void, stain uncleared by strain;

but folks enshrined in history to pavement dweller has to leave,

all love, except vile like me that can’t, from terrorist to rapist,

even I can’t deny being loved, a love that can’t be worn on sleeve,

gone sun, stars, days and nights, not the memory in our midst;

cherish memory with tears or laughter,

dead find lease in your memories, yet how long,

perish with you, you a memory, ones in your’s, lost chapter,

no matter, unsought immortality, till lasts hear love’s song;

Go away confused one, come when know what you want, what to say,

let us in peace pray, why without clarity or purpose, you here stray?

(This is partly done and shall be continued in future posts)

 

 

 

 

She was the angel of death

She was the angel of death,
he a defeated mortal in pain,
he prays for her still breath,
saying ‘not yet’ she spares his vein;

the devil of life has him in thrall,
tempting him sore with wonders,
making him croon and crawl,
a sorry tale of unspoken blunders;

each man a success, destiny’s child,
dig hard and deep, never quit,
don’t wait, seize now to dance wild,
journey matters much as end hit;

he finally finds joy in a new pathway,
the angel comes to take him far away.

Where is my loyal shadow

Where is my loyal shadow,
has he ditched like the rest,
ashamed to follow
this lazy, loser to his nest;

How can I blame,
when I’ve never tried,
lived life as it came,
and today deep fried;

where death that comes to all,
for when life is lost, death is sought,
he too refutes this tired crazy call,
can’t escape life’s tentacles caught;

for life or death is a cherished gift,
that can’t be had idly wishing swift.

Buried words

There in the river bank lies buried my words,
unpublished ruin of thoughts, no one in its wake,
words perish so swift not rising up to the birds,
not rising at all, soft words, a kind of sad take;

how differ, one from the other, none special, 
yet they flow unsought, a violent onslaught,
to capture and order the chaos is very crucial,
are the words unworthy I ask distraught;

if only resurrected on some Easter Sunday,
but not to be forever buried and forgotten,
dead without farewell, those words can’t stay,
can’t compete with earthly riches ill begotten;

what words, they were living souls whose departure,
I will ever mourn, someday let find greener pasture. 

   

I have no time

I have no time.
Got to conquer something of this world.
Before my parents leave.

Please go slow clock.
The eternal keeper of time.

I live each moment measured.
And each comment treasured.

I saw it in your eyes.
The coming onslaught of betrayal and lies. 

It was good girl that I let you go.
I gotta do something noble.
Earn fame and money.

Got to show my loved ones
that I did live up to my potential.
Wipe their long dried up tears.

They old and wise have accepted my fate.
Hoping that I am happy my own way, of late.

This is for me. 
To bring pride and happiness back to my family. 

Sadly though long term time is scarce.
But daily time I have to kill with idling pleasures. 

Even if I can’t tempt fate to give fame and fortune.
I beseech it to make me leave early. 
Joy with my family, now and ever, is all I ask of all time.