Darkest winter

Darkest winter night as I fumbled blind for weeds,

spent scorching days in passion and lazy fashion,

now as poison gripped I fight to nourish my seeds,

manured these weeds I fight, lured by false vision;

end near but had to happen sometime, why not now,

for haphazard toil not given a single fruit of worth,

late now to grow new as unbending time’s bow,

bleeding hands work feverishly to clear field henceforth;

pained for weeds I grew, my only kids and legacy,

why persevere to grow other legacies over mine,

just for the visitors’ unkind valuations, what idiocy,

for though longed flowers these thorns now I pine;

weeds bled with me cruel, this night without sight,

chasing to right perceived wrongs decided by might.




Hard hit squash ball

Hard hit squash ball bounces back furthest,

ricocheting like bullet, but not one torn by hit,

logic is strengthen chain based on link weakest,

what magic makes human chain wean unfit;

yet me unfit, tear self and the likes, if you’d fly,

you can’t, shedding us, the lightest, the feathers,

say you try as we cry, truly shy us, you milk dry,

we burden on land, yet flew you in all weathers;

if superman ideal, you’d end up with Robinson Crusoe,

weaning does it, that true hero too needed man Friday,

if question of fittest, why omit characters of Mario Puzo,

squash ethic balls framing borders that suit your fray;

try golfing the tiniest balls across holes to destination,

crossing sand, water, slopes guiding balls to find groove,

ye cause innocent balls missed to win others’ limitation,

say not for me but prep for day you need me to even move;

any sport need us pliant balls, use or discard but with respect,

for like blazing sun and stars, even speck of sand has its aspect.








My crown, I suffer most

My god, am I in the right place or should I say great Rand why am I here. Now more than ever I believe that I should have made Rand my god instead of keeping an open mind and seeking greater or other truths.

Most of my posts are inspired from the blog world. I believe they not only represent the world but also the brighter side of it. Let us say Ayn Rand believed that abilitities and skills should decide an individual’s position and not his needs. Also emphasized individual’s rights over weighed the collective and lot many things.

Here everyone is selling something, that is okay, most are trying to cash in on their weaknesses and afflictions which I know to be genuine. I don’t believe in fakes. In short pity and their needs are being sold like hot cakes. This is symptomatic of the modern world’s greatest affliction to exploit others generosity or compassion, which in turn comes from the need to ease guilt.

Helen Kellers of the world aren’t known for their affliction, some know them for what they did despite that, we know her for what she did beyond that. Here some revealing their short comings pitifully, yet go beyond that to reveal great talent of immense measure and are not even interested in money and want only sharing. All I ask is why? But why the pitiful pitch?

Who am I to ask this? In talent and skill I am unfit to kiss the dust that the foot of these giants have tread on. I too have an affliction that has crashed my life several times over, yet I can’t give that as an excuse as I have seen people with far greater afflictions do greater things. I am at the bottom of the dog pile and Ayn Rand’s theory has no space for the likes of us, it is about inspiring to reach heights. Even from the bottom i don’t grudge Rand’s theory.

It is in the arena of political and economic power that change is needed and a need based approach is needed in specific areas to create a level playing field. It is in this area that I hope to run with Che in the opposite direction to Ayn Rand. But remember the Ches of the world will never cringe show me mercy, I have needs, I have a love, I have Tanya, so please spare me.

Despite all this I not only understand but have a strong urge, need to share my affliction, agony, pain, in that process hear another’s sojourn there, cry on each other’s shoulders.

Yet that cannot be a claim for my need or even my love (very lately realized).

In short let us pause for the whiners and respect the doers and whine little ourselves and try to do more.

And the winner is…

As a young and gracious person, it doesn’t matter what berth I book in a train, I always end up in the upper berth. For how can I refuse the old, I do give them space. I have to use the restroom often at night, but I don’t tell them that. There are some who don’t do even these little things.

As a man, I do all the legwork for girls who ask, driving in crazy unknown city lanes that I don’t normally do. I give them space to take rest and ease.

As an old person I’m sure I’ll be giving space to the headstrong young to find their place in this world.

By popular notion, when will a person have a space of his own? The answer is simple, when he has a need for his own.

So people say I got a wife and kid, I got a bad leg, I’m mentally disturbed and claim space. This need based world is what Ayn Rand fights to the core. But the flaw in an ability based system is what ability and by what standards, and why the chance to develop the ability was never given to a broad section of people.

So after this, what am I going to say new. Nothing. Life is like a race between the hare and the tortoise, but forget the moral about who will win the race, for what if they ran in different directions. We gotta race, for what else are we here. But never judge others harshly and utter callous words, thinking it is for their good.

What direction I am running is in the About section, but it is those running in the opposite direction that I respect and admire, for it is they who set my pace.

Stress Management – Mind Punches

Stress management is something  known today. Anger Management for vehicle drivers is something common in Delhi. In Chennai where I live, I see road disputes daily, where be the first to shout loudest is the norm, traffic rules aren’t even discussed. I declare at the outset, I know nothing of stress management. I don’t read self help books and thus know nothing about the topic. This is just how I lately deal with stress.

My erstwhile business partner is a correct yet very funny person. We used to travel long distances by car. We had to ask for directions at several places from several people. Only if those innocent helping guides knew their fate. Each would have a unique mannerism in giving directions and our partner will put a funny spin on them while travelling that would make the rest of us howl with laughter. If the good guys fate was thus, what about the idiots without traffic sense we come across. He will start by abusing them mildly and comment of how people are that will at least get a couple of chuckles.

I am no exception to the rule of ridiculing or scolding my boss to those in my inner circle. But that doesn’t mean I would let my work lapse, in fact me and my colleagues defend our firm and boss to outsiders vehemently.

In my college, if there is aa theft, the guys will just beat the hell out of the first suspicious person, but that will never happen if I am there. They don’t need anger management but rather method management and a basic dose of ethics. They probably learnt from our cops or political or otherwise gangs or mobs. If only I chance upon an unruly mob they might get something in addition to a dose of ethics. The reason I said this was we were taught to be never foul or suspicious about anyone unless we are cent percent sure. cent percent surety never happens. So we don’t voice suspicions.

Sometimes a person helps you, cares for you enough to reveal an uncomfortable truth about you, but it hurts you sore. In work for example a superior might want you to correct things, though true, how can you not be displeased. As far as I’ve seen it is the ethical and not the unruly who’ve stress issues.

What I do now is let my mind run riot. It doesn’t alter the fact that I hero worship that person. I throw imaginary punches till I knock them out flat. This is ok as long as one understands these emotions are our moments of weakness, and everyone is allowed their weak moments. If this is too harsh for you, who are normally calm and subtle, then just think yourself to be Popeye, who just had a load of spinach, and hit at the imaginary mountains and skies until they all come
crumbling down. I am not asking you to try this but only sharing that this works for me.