Warrior – Midwife’s Daughter – 1

Surveyed from atop hill the lush green valley below,

reddening by the moment with blood of battle,

warring world, yet he at peace till now forced low,

not his war, yet to reach her must kill all in his way, human cattle;

she, he fixed in his mind as wife a while ago,

when he decided to marry disavowing bachelorhood,

as loneliness begged and society shunned single’s ego,

jubilant at married prospect, not knew had to hunt for that food;

there was a manhunt for him as he chased his to be bride,

but he killed no man, only men, powerful ones,

to take her against her will, failed begging her family swallowing pride;

her guardian a powerful general seeking a prince for her,

she a kid not knowing right from wrong,

he unfit to marry any girl had no choice but to grab his wonder,

barely knew her yet can’t turn, fought in her name battles long;

this was his frank war in a cunning world, his first and last,

he a goat forced in to a lion by a world of hyenas and foxes,

this wonder girl wasn’t the midwife’s daughter, that dream past,

planned life success, did zilch, now on way to his wonder ticked old boxes;

had claim to wonder girl from long dead ancestors,

that started his battles chasing her to reach this hill top,

no mountains scaled yet, no longer playing kid but playing fighter,

but choosing responsibility first time, this game started, till end can’t stop,

as warrior now, can battle back to unclaimed mid wife’s daughter;

yet didn’t sway as descended hill alone with a mad roar,

loved few but only to mid wife’s daughter proposed,

rejected till accepted, yet incomplete without kids to soar,

yet farewell due, bodies fell left and right in his charge as he love mused;

he had no direction to go but forward, however tough the path,

wonders chosen and made so by worthy beholder,

yet is it worth to go this far for a whim to cause this blood bath,

no love song to grab girl, he spurned and spurred by society got bolder;

(to contd. if in mood)

Go away, silly one

Go away, silly one, that don’t know of loss,

dub yourself loser, leave joker, laughter not here,

wailed a lady in crowd, all noise did pause,

now clad colourful, old black dresses didn’t smear;

I spoke, I lost but a dream, not living, loving soul,

came not to mourn or share, yet I do care,

gone days of joy, nights of sleep, dreams stole,

gone thunder, rain, rainbow and lighting’s glare;

what desert, as gone the sand beneath my feet,

gone breeze, even mighty sea without time to see,

gone sweet home, now a thorn, my last retreat,

no refuge, no place known to shelter, nowhere to flee;

innocence lost, ignorance cost, spoilt forecast, time flew fast,

gone courage, morals, little laurels, tears and laughter,

gone stories, movies, idle banter, carefree canter of past,

know not where all went, my life spent, grew softer;

pride, confidence, dreams gone with skill and wisdom,

never lost any near and dear, just lost an empty dream,

not compare losses, my misery trifle, akin to boredom,

you lost forever, loved ones, to death, time’s stream;

music, song, poems and prose scribbles died long ago,

forgot drinks, dinners, friends with just cigarette in hand,

didn’t love a soul, lost none, yet your grief with me grow,

despite troubles and sorrow, your feet planted firm on land;

for you love and so live, I merely forgive, you strive, you give,

give your thought and action calmly to those that remain,

those gone, a strong memory, you forever mourn and grieve,

parent, sibling, child or friend, leave void, stain uncleared by strain;

but folks enshrined in history to pavement dweller has to leave,

all love, except vile like me that can’t, from terrorist to rapist,

even I can’t deny being loved, a love that can’t be worn on sleeve,

gone sun, stars, days and nights, not the memory in our midst;

cherish memory with tears or laughter,

dead find lease in your memories, yet how long,

perish with you, you a memory, ones in your’s, lost chapter,

no matter, unsought immortality, till lasts hear love’s song;

Go away confused one, come when know what you want, what to say,

let us in peace pray, why without clarity or purpose, you here stray?

(This is partly done and shall be continued in future posts)

 

 

 

 

Weep

I weep for not being close to or attentive to my parents. They are in their seventies. I can’t change myself or my attitude towards them, I’ve always taken them for granted. It is not to say they petted and pampered me. I used to rebel always and try to get my way. They are old and not like they used to be, now in their old age. I can feel their old age in my bones. They seem to be content in their retired selves. They rely on my brother for support when needed yet it is rare.

When I come out of my room to dine watching television my dad joins me. He dissects and discusses the news with me and at times I don’t even feign interest. My mom calls me often in a day, like really a lot. Some days if not for her calls I might not have received any call. Is it them craving for attention or is it me craving their company due to my solitude. I can’t and don’t know how to express my affection towards them. For if I start to change my attitude towards them it might feel strange. They are light years ahead of their departure and why think of it now. At least that is what I feel. Yet I want those light years to mean something.

I can’t co exist with my brother. We tend to fight always. If not for mediation of my parents there would have been a violent ruckus between him and me. Even as it is there is a ruckus. Blessed by god we have ample money for our needs. They insist on a business and me working on it not for the money. They want me to be engaged and they don’t consider me sitting all day long before a computer writing, as being engaged. But I don’t want the business and want writing. I want freedom to roam far and wide that can’t be because of my psychiatric condition. I just realised that a tour with my family, my parents and brother might feel good. But I resist even the little sojourns out of our house as I can’t remain without smoking for long. When away from them be it the distance to my room, my love for them grows. Yet when with them there is inevitably quarrel. They try to coax me in to changing my wayward behaviour. But I am set in my habits and can’t change.

I don’t shave by myself and often times have an ugly stubble. I wear the same old dress repeatedly. I don’t do simple errands. All these cause great fights as they criticise and try to change my ways. It still takes my mom a lot of coaxing to bring me to the dining table and have my meals. I thought of writing a poem but prose or poem words don’t suffice to express my emotions now. Every parent all over the world are mostly thus caring and loving towards their children. But in the west especially the parents learn to let go of their kids to seek their own lives. Not all kids are like me unresponsive and not reciprocating. An eminent hand would have drawn a novel out of this by now. Here I am rambling about a novel and not appreciative of what I have going here.

I am being hounded for my being wayward. I must first convince my family that I am responsible. Then I must have a bigger say in things. My brother claims I am not yet an adult. Though it angers me it is true. Watching adult movies alone can’t make a person an adult. Yet he is the one confining me at every step. For to be an adult or not, whatever it is I have to do it in my own terms. Soon somehow I must convince one and all that I am my own man free and responsible. I shall then seek to spend time with my parents and my family which includes my brother. If I am successful in some sphere then all my worries and little inconveniences and inconsistencies will be forgotten. That is part of the reason I seek fame and success. For with it I can be closer to my family and make them worry less. Even if they don’t I think they feel I have never risen to my full potential. To succeed before their eyes what joy and reward. I do all things I do waiting for that moment of epiphany.

I have no time

I have no time.
Got to conquer something of this world.
Before my parents leave.

Please go slow clock.
The eternal keeper of time.

I live each moment measured.
And each comment treasured.

I saw it in your eyes.
The coming onslaught of betrayal and lies. 

It was good girl that I let you go.
I gotta do something noble.
Earn fame and money.

Got to show my loved ones
that I did live up to my potential.
Wipe their long dried up tears.

They old and wise have accepted my fate.
Hoping that I am happy my own way, of late.

This is for me. 
To bring pride and happiness back to my family. 

Sadly though long term time is scarce.
But daily time I have to kill with idling pleasures. 

Even if I can’t tempt fate to give fame and fortune.
I beseech it to make me leave early. 
Joy with my family, now and ever, is all I ask of all time. 

I as a child

I as a child wanted fame, 

my timid heart yearns still,

now far behind in the game,

yet unbending my fragile will;

didn’t want these words to rhyme on page,

yet my quirky habits die hard and so will I,

being single got none to care in old age,

wanted that way when young, now a lie;

tired of mourning not having family and kids,

a thing almost all easily take for granted,

not for crazy me however high the bids,

hate these childish rhymes that like a dog panted;

what use these disruptive rumbles, will I get a bride,

or find courage to sail far away on the next high tide.

He was high as a kite

He was high as a kite,
she sober as a math class,
yet a regular couple in spite,
fighting and doting crass,
he no hero from yonder,
she not any the better,
yet they make me wonder,
why willing they chose fetter;

I long for an attentive partner,
that won’t impinge my freedom,
and not be an emotional burner,
a permanent cure for my boredom,
alas that is not written for sick me,
fated to be alone for now and ever,
society holds back and I can’t be free,
a bird that can’t fly but does hover;

if not destined to rhyme as a couplet,
can I be a tercet, an addendum of sorts,
what pitiful thought to consider and fret,
as many tree leaves, want to win as many hearts,
if boredom and solitude are my bane,
need to hurry faster to defeat them,
at this snail’s pace there is no marked lane,
to gather rage and courage and produce a gem;

I made a few plans but destiny said otherwise,
some accept fate and munch leaves like a caterpillar,
I shall become a butterfly and fly beyond the high shingle,
and if there be hurdles, shall work hard as a tiller,
being single doesn’t mean I can’t in society mingle,
I shall be a stately, steady and surefooted pillar,
soothed in a kid’s laughter or a smiling old wrinkle,
if a couple dare threaten my space, I’ll be a cold killer.

Oh where can I rest

Oh where can I rest these tired legs,

I’ve wandered far and wide inside my soul,

found nought in my wanderings, no dregs,

finding a place that I can call home is my goal;

folks allow me gladly in to their hearths,

but can’t tarry long overstaying their hospitality,

people stare from their secure comfortable berths,

for I am a poor creature lacking social ability;

even fellow wanderers treat me shabbily,

for they wander with purpose and courage,

they trod on forcefully, uncaring and happily,

I am left alone staring at my life, a blank page;

yet I breathe in the hope of finding a home someday,

find some one to call my own and end painful disarray.

 

 

Before the night is over

Before the night is over
the world shall kiss my feet,
Drunk on pride, I’ll never be sober,
all pains and sorrows shall beat retreat;

Before the night is over
she should come bowing to me,
beseeching not to be the vengeful lover
I’ll sadistically enjoy it with Glee;

My family, blood relations, friends
shall serve me stooping beneath me,
all dreams true with none that contends
or opposes my anger and cruel decree;

for this is my last night on Earth
towards hell I breathe my last breath.

Tamil Jokes – 1

  1. அந்த காலத்துல வர பாதயில சதாசிவத்த பாத்தேன் 2 நிமிஷம் லேட் ஆகிடிச்சுனு சொல்லுவாங்க. என் ப்ரெண்ட்ஸ் இருக்கானுங்கலே. ஒருத்தன் எங்க வந்திதிருக்கனு கேட்டா இருக்கிற இடத்த விட்டு 3 சிக்னல் தாண்டி வரேனுவான். ஒருத்தன் வீட்டுல இருந்திட்டே முக்குல இருக்கேனுவான். இது பரவாயில ஒருத்தன் கண்ணாடிய துடச்சுட்டு பாரு நான் உன் முன்னாடி தான் நீக்கெண்னு சொன்னான் பாருங்க எனக்கு ஹார்ட் அட்டாக்கே வந்துட்டு.
  2. விருந்தாளிகள் வீட்டுக்கு வந்த போது என் தந்தை நாயை அறைக்குள் அடைத்து விட்டு வந்தார். பேசி கொண்டிருக்கும் போது எதற்கோ அந்த அறையை திறந்தார். வந்தவங்க   பதறி அடித்து அய்யோ நாய் ரூம் என்றார்கள். நான் உடனே ஆமாம் கரக்ட்டா நாய் ரூம் எப்டி கண்டுபிடிசிங்க அதான் எங்க அப்பா ரூம் என்றேன்.
  3. ஒரு விசேஷ வீட்டுல ஒருத்தர் எப்டி அவர் திருப்பூரிலும் அண்ணன் மற்றும் அக்கா பக்கத்தில் கொய்ம்பதூரிலும் இருப்பதாக சொன்னார். இன்னொருவர் சென்னையில் தான் அன்னாநகரிலும் தங்கை பக்கத்தில் அம்பதூரிலும் இருப்பதாக சொன்னார். அனைவரும் உறவுகளில் தூரம் மிக முக்கியம் என்றனர். நானும் ஆமாம் தூரத்தை வைத்து தான் எங்கள் குடும்பமும் தங்கி இருக்கோம் என்றேன். நான் சென்னையிலும் என் அண்ணன் பெங்களூரிலும் அப்பா அம்மா தூத்துகுடியிலும் என மிக தொலைவாக இருக்கோம். ஆச அண்ணன் காஷ்மீறிலும் நான் கணியகுமபரியிலும் அப்பா அம்மா வைகுண்ததிலும் இருக்கணும்னு தான் என பெரு மூச்சு விட்டேன்.

Laughter’s Son

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Resources of mind, soul and body drain,
mental laziness renders the creative pond dry,
I find no drop to fill however hard I try,
no spark of lightning, no hope for rain;

I move dead slow with tortoise brain,
never I come out of shell, I am shy,
but at times I let inhibitions fly,
I lie low, never serious, ever in playful vein;

I enjoy life and all is fun,
and I seem so to those around,
away from the pond I run,
to escape the ridicule of the hound;

I’ve chosen to be laughter’s son,
so I silence the inner sound.