Today I don’t

Today I don’t mourn my yesterday,

for I bury all weakness that was my past,

and thank it for showing me the way,

to fight for a better tomorrow at last;

what if the world wasn’t kind before?

how would it when I wasn’t kind to myself,

suck frustrations and blow it through the door,

who but me to place myself on a high shelf;

why worry as new days come and nights pass,

my dawn is surely right ahead in the next bend,

believe in it I must without a moment’s pause,

yet time to shed skin and with the world blend;

from today I vow to be my biggest fan,

to burn my old self and become a new man.

 

 

 

 

Why do we live?

Why do we live? What is our purpose, principles and values? Do we have any integrity? Are we capable of loving and caring truly?

Or is it all an excuse to occupy ourselves till the next moments of lust satiation?

Whatever it is Kahlil Gibran says pleasure is good but seven are her sisters as good. So let us take time to indulge with those seven even as we are bound by lust.

Go away, silly one

Go away, silly one, that don’t know of loss,

dub yourself loser, leave joker, laughter not here,

wailed a lady in crowd, all noise did pause,

now clad colourful, old black dresses didn’t smear;

I spoke, I lost but a dream, not living, loving soul,

came not to mourn or share, yet I do care,

gone days of joy, nights of sleep, dreams stole,

gone thunder, rain, rainbow and lighting’s glare;

what desert, as gone the sand beneath my feet,

gone breeze, even mighty sea without time to see,

gone sweet home, now a thorn, my last retreat,

no refuge, no place known to shelter, nowhere to flee;

innocence lost, ignorance cost, spoilt forecast, time flew fast,

gone courage, morals, little laurels, tears and laughter,

gone stories, movies, idle banter, carefree canter of past,

know not where all went, my life spent, grew softer;

pride, confidence, dreams gone with skill and wisdom,

never lost any near and dear, just lost an empty dream,

not compare losses, my misery trifle, akin to boredom,

you lost forever, loved ones, to death, time’s stream;

music, song, poems and prose scribbles died long ago,

forgot drinks, dinners, friends with just cigarette in hand,

didn’t love a soul, lost none, yet your grief with me grow,

despite troubles and sorrow, your feet planted firm on land;

for you love and so live, I merely forgive, you strive, you give,

give your thought and action calmly to those that remain,

those gone, a strong memory, you forever mourn and grieve,

parent, sibling, child or friend, leave void, stain uncleared by strain;

but folks enshrined in history to pavement dweller has to leave,

all love, except vile like me that can’t, from terrorist to rapist,

even I can’t deny being loved, a love that can’t be worn on sleeve,

gone sun, stars, days and nights, not the memory in our midst;

cherish memory with tears or laughter,

dead find lease in your memories, yet how long,

perish with you, you a memory, ones in your’s, lost chapter,

no matter, unsought immortality, till lasts hear love’s song;

Go away confused one, come when know what you want, what to say,

let us in peace pray, why without clarity or purpose, you here stray?

(This is partly done and shall be continued in future posts)

 

 

 

 

Little Things vs Details

‘Little things’ and ‘Details’ tend to mean the same in general. Here with a context they shall mean different things.

‘The devil is in the details,’ they say. What it means the details or the minor things or trivia (or the little things) matter the most to get the desired consequence in an investigation or a writing project or any such thing. Of course details here mean the bigger things too are included with the minor to get an elaborate inclusive view of the situation. The devil can mean a few things but I take it to mean the finer points or details are the trickiest as opposed to any negative connotation.

‘Happiness resides in the little things of life.’ Well a line by me though am sure there must be a similar well known line. Here it means only those trivia of life forgetting the bigger picture or other major things in life.

What exactly are these little things? They are of course myriad yet one analogy seems fine. It is anything like doing a homework… or not doing it. Yes, anything, for as long as it is a little thing it can either be good or bad and never evil.

Routine like brushing, bathing etc are little and though we never have to focus on them we must realise that when not done it tends to spoil our day.

I haven’t mentioned things like dew or a rainbow or a surprise rain or other natural beauty or man made magnificence as you can very well fill it up better with things that pop in your mind when you think of little things.

A child’s smile, yes of course, so the next time smile back and play with it, simple like doing homework. If you’re bored playing take leave, not bothering about the audience, simple like not doing homework.

The auditor has requested details of your shop, sales is dwindling yet nothing can be done till the accountant arrives. Important client mail to be sent at your office, a few meetings to be scheduled, prepare a vital presentation but nothing can be done without the secretary returning from lunch. There is the game on your mobile, jokes on your computer too but not now with these worries you think. But why not? Is there none to talk to while away time. The janitor is working and you’ve seen him pretty much like another office apparatus and can’t talk now. Why not? At home you not only carry the work woes but also face great family woes. You envy your wife and daughter watching a TV series as you go for your regular walk. You remember that you have a movie you’ve been meaning to watch or that unfinished book, but do they matter really now. Yet some view getting in to these little things as helping reduce the stress in the modern world. Maybe after the walk instead of hurrying to bath you can sit and watch the movie with your wife and daughter. It is a worthier investment of your time I say, but unfortunately won’t happen often. So instead of sulking or dominating just watch TV with them with the remote in their hands.

Take time to connect to people both inside and outside of our work, and keeping it healthy by our regular presence, in at least a couple of social groups live if possible  and if not over the net. This is a healthy thing. Family, relatives, friends, colleagues, friends of friends, acquaintances are the overall break up of  people in our lives. Yet only if we keep in touch with them regularly in today’s world with phone or the net can we make them part of our network where one can rely on each other.

Forget all. Little things like a smile, a handshake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a salute, verbal welcome, warmth go a big way to create heaven on earth. Why should couples monopolise holding hands as long as held in affection by others. Take time out for movies and books and then share it with friends and folks though they might not be in  to it. The regular soft drink for an addict and a rare soft drink for a sugar patient, a blind catching a movie in theatre, Ice cream in the cold rain dancing with joy, parties frequently for no apparent reason but not just with regular crowd but maybe the old parents or younger siblings also invited. These and more little things and little exceptions are what makes our lives pleasurable and not the big money and big successes.

 

A tiny world

A tiny world is this blog,

that mimics life,

for I familiar faces log,

but disappear without strife;

to return a stranger to all,

sad it happens also in my reality,

for alone I falter and fall,

busted long ago hoax of my ability;

yet giving up on hope,

I have learned to live,

giving up climb don’t need rope,

no need to accept though I can’t give;

dawned that should never be serious,

and in levity rest all that was furious.

Darkest winter

Darkest winter night as I fumbled blind for weeds,

spent scorching days in passion and lazy fashion,

now as poison gripped I fight to nourish my seeds,

manured these weeds I fight, lured by false vision;

end near but had to happen sometime, why not now,

for haphazard toil not given a single fruit of worth,

late now to grow new as unbending time’s bow,

bleeding hands work feverishly to clear field henceforth;

pained for weeds I grew, my only kids and legacy,

why persevere to grow other legacies over mine,

just for the visitors’ unkind valuations, what idiocy,

for though longed flowers these thorns now I pine;

weeds bled with me cruel, this night without sight,

chasing to right perceived wrongs decided by might.

 

 

On chest

On chest dangled a golden locket

that I did pocket,

to not give offence

to debt burdened farmhand,

and jumped the high fence

dividing us to land

on muddy soil, slime made coil,

soil soiled leg and garment;

a fish and he both on boil,

no escape or comfort I ferment

to hopeful eyes that beg

as deny money,

held fence to balance failing leg

giver of all my honey,

I hid family locket

as he hid tears,

red hollows in eye socket,

to comfort I was all ears,

no words came

but kids shrivelled, garbed dirty,

playing innocent game,

but I had own troubles since  thirty,

helpless witness to their grief,

for had once chased fame,

a deluded spell not brief,

ending defeated and tame,

I dependent on my family,

and his family dependent on him,

what use to him world’s homily,

yet who am I to talk that lives on a whim,

darkness as setting sun vanished,

but frolicking kids our distress banished.

 

 

Words ran

Words ran without care,

ugly or beautiful but true,

mindless of how I fare,

tempted by Muse or shrew;

maybe rightly mocked for it bitter,

didn’t deter for it gave great joy,

yet is it okay when I need babysitter,

as adult is it right to still play and toy;

lived two lives, on earth and in dreams,

saw joy shift from world to one in mind,

isn’t it natural to migrate to inviting themes,

to woo me here must make joy and be kind;

to me mind’s world real, who are you to refute,

so go away or fulfil my every wish without dispute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hard hit squash ball

Hard hit squash ball bounces back furthest,

ricocheting like bullet, but not one torn by hit,

logic is strengthen chain based on link weakest,

what magic makes human chain wean unfit;

yet me unfit, tear self and the likes, if you’d fly,

you can’t, shedding us, the lightest, the feathers,

say you try as we cry, truly shy us, you milk dry,

we burden on land, yet flew you in all weathers;

if superman ideal, you’d end up with Robinson Crusoe,

weaning does it, that true hero too needed man Friday,

if question of fittest, why omit characters of Mario Puzo,

squash ethic balls framing borders that suit your fray;

try golfing the tiniest balls across holes to destination,

crossing sand, water, slopes guiding balls to find groove,

ye cause innocent balls missed to win others’ limitation,

say not for me but prep for day you need me to even move;

any sport need us pliant balls, use or discard but with respect,

for like blazing sun and stars, even speck of sand has its aspect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slowly I unravelled

Slowly I unravelled,

dispersing beautiful mist,

the dreams shed,

nothing in my fist;

still witchy hope peeped,

shut it, as will let down,

silent benefits reaped,

denouncing wish for crown;

contentment around corner,

aimless life, but without strife,

momentous joys did garner,

gave up hand, what use knife;

again happiest of the lot,

trot as all run, savouring what got.