In the era of heros like M.G.R and Sivaji, a director K.Balachandar (and Bharati Rajaalso) was setting trends as a director launching Kamal and Rajini. In era of Kamal and Rajini it was Manirathnam who used these heros too but was a pull factor even behind screens. In era of Ajith and Vijay who would be the one director who will last long with a career as these heros you reckon? I loved Iraivi and so Santhosh Subramanian and despite hating Petai laud him for trying Rajini and mainstream. Who will outlast these heros as directors behind the screens?
Go away, silly one, that don’t know of loss,
dub yourself loser, leave joker, laughter not here,
wailed a lady in crowd, all noise did pause,
now clad colourful, old black dresses didn’t smear;
I spoke, I lost but a dream, not living, loving soul,
came not to mourn or share, yet I do care,
gone days of joy, nights of sleep, dreams stole,
gone thunder, rain, rainbow and lighting’s glare;
what desert, as gone the sand beneath my feet,
gone breeze, even mighty sea without time to see,
gone sweet home, now a thorn, my last retreat,
no refuge, no place known to shelter, nowhere to flee;
innocence lost, ignorance cost, spoilt forecast, time flew fast,
gone courage, morals, little laurels, tears and laughter,
gone stories, movies, idle banter, carefree canter of past,
know not where all went, my life spent, grew softer;
pride, confidence, dreams gone with skill and wisdom,
never lost any near and dear, just lost an empty dream,
not compare losses, my misery trifle, akin to boredom,
you lost forever, loved ones, to death, time’s stream;
music, song, poems and prose scribbles died long ago,
forgot drinks, dinners, friends with just cigarette in hand,
didn’t love a soul, lost none, yet your grief with me grow,
despite troubles and sorrow, your feet planted firm on land;
for you love and so live, I merely forgive, you strive, you give,
give your thought and action calmly to those that remain,
those gone, a strong memory, you forever mourn and grieve,
parent, sibling, child or friend, leave void, stain uncleared by strain;
but folks enshrined in history to pavement dweller has to leave,
all love, except vile like me that can’t, from terrorist to rapist,
even I can’t deny being loved, a love that can’t be worn on sleeve,
gone sun, stars, days and nights, not the memory in our midst;
cherish memory with tears or laughter,
dead find lease in your memories, yet how long,
perish with you, you a memory, ones in your’s, lost chapter,
no matter, unsought immortality, till lasts hear love’s song;
Go away confused one, come when know what you want, what to say,
let us in peace pray, why without clarity or purpose, you here stray?
(This is partly done and shall be continued in future posts)
I started rhyming when I was ten to fourteen years old. I wrote only for myself and kept it as a secret from others. But my mom chanced upon it and I shrieked at lack of privacy and abandoned writing altogether. My brother supported me on this. Then a couple of years back almost after fifteen years I started this blog. Then too I scribbled verses for myself and dropped blogging for almost a whole year. Now I have taken up blogging again seriously. I blog for myself as an extension of myself. But if that alone were the case, I wouldn’t be ranting and raving like this. I have an ulterior motive to my blogging. It is no secret that most bloggers are wannabe writers.
I want to write and publish a novel and I have even experimented crafting the novel using the blog. It didn’t pan out or rather I shifted focus to other things that I can write a novel about. The latest effort has given two amazing chapters but I wait. I want to grow this blog to an extent they will be the primary consumers for my novel. I also want to compose publishing worthy poems.
In short I want this meaningless life to have some meaning and value with this blog. Bloggers tend to be impersonal and polite but I want to shatter all that. I want almost all my followers to buy and read my novel, something sometime in the next couple of years. I am working hard for it from now. Facebook and Twitter make no sense to me but I have to master it to promote this blog somehow.
I hurried up and posted a hastily crafted novel on Amazon kindle but did not promote it. For it was a genre fiction and run off the mill stuff. Now I realise that all stuff is in its way run off the mill and ordinary except for some rare gems. I aimed at producing that rarest of rare gem. But seeing the talent and quantity of the novels I quit that dream. It is a slugfest out there. My thirst for scribbling verses has been satiated by this blog. Similarly I want my thirst for writing novels to be satiated. I presume there must be places on the net where our novels can be showcased for free. But I want to earn not for the money but to call myself a serious writer.
I am too harsh when it comes to picking up a poem of mine for publication. I am too choosy to the extent of discluding all my works. Yet when I see other writers claiming published poems I desire it. The bug has bitten me too. I want to try and publish a poem. A site Vita Brevis even had a list of publications with high acceptance rates. But inertia takes hold of me when it comes to taking the next step. I convince myself that this blog is more than enough for all my ventures. I even had an young Adult fiction started and posted almost thirteen chapters in this blog before dropping it. That is why the completion of my rushed out novel meant much and I hurried the project in to obscurity.
I am thinking of taking out the novel from kindle and posting it here if I am sure that people would read it. But that isn’t the case and therefore I won’t do it. If there is a place where novel lovers come to read free books, I am sure there are such sites, I would post this novel in a jiffy. I also want to do book reviews in return for free books at least. But this is all plan and I would not act upon it easily. If I die today I would have left behind nothing in terms of work except this blog. This too doesn’t amount much as for as I am concerned. I want to make this blog at least mean something to me and others that I can die soon, hoping that a remnant of me that I can be proud of, lives in the form of this blog. I am not going to die that soon and I intend to publish a few poems and even a novel, all from the support and base of this blog.
I was an introvert turned extrovert who was pushed back in to being an introvert. I have literally nothing happening in my life. No relationships. Little to no friends, countable in fingers. I used to watch movies and read books before delving deep in to this blog. The blogging bug has bitten me that I am lost in it to the extent of not viewing movies or reading books. I hope it is for the better. Luckily not focused on my postings alone like when I started, I now immerse myself in the other people’s blogs that mesmerise me.
Happy blogging, I feel lighter for this share.
Hichki is a Rani Mukherjee hindi movie that is available on Amazon Prime videos. Both Amazon and Netflix have below par content and if we don’t separate wheat from chaff it will get boring pretty soon.
This movie is about an aspiring teacher with a facial twitching problem. She lands a job as teacher and then has to win over her students and the school before being able to prove herself. It is a feel good movie very endearing and interesting that I can recommend this movie to all amazon subscribers. There will be subtitles and those who do not know Hindi can enjoy the acclaimed Bollywood movie.
Half a bottle of brandy, roasted chicken ribs and a movie each day
and no woman by my side to disturb my peace and lead me astray
is all I ask for my lasting happiness.
Today, on Valentine’s day, as I was hearing coincidentally the songs of the movie ‘Oru thalai raagam’, that literally means one sided music which is a euphemism for one sided love, the thought of this post, my favourites of romance in movies came about.
The movie ‘Love actually’ a collection of stories of romance that includes a one sided love too is easily the most favourite. The movie titled ‘Valentine’s day’ is also a collection of romance stories that is also equally riveting.
Julia Robert’s ‘Pretty woman’ and ‘Notting Hill’ are both great celebrations of love and romance.
Though the world loved ‘Titanic’ for it’s celebration of romance I loved ‘Brave Heart’ as an expression of love and freedom.
All romantic comedies from ‘Devil wears Prada’ to ’27 dresses’ and ‘2 weeks notice’ to ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’, ‘Jerry McGuire’ etc and from an ‘Affair to Remember’ to ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ and ‘Sound of Music’ are all great celebrations of Romance. The ‘Object of my affection’ is also a nice romance movie.
‘Good Will Hunting’ and ‘As Good as it gets’ are also great romantic treatises while dealing with a dark or serious subjects. ‘Gone with the wind’ featuring Vivian Leigh and Clark Gable is a memorable movie of love and romance.
Hundreds of such memorable tributes to romance on celluloid can be cited. Yet I shall end here with a quote from another romantic movie ‘Beau Brummel’,
“It doesn’t matter how or where you end up but what is more important is how you have affected the hearts and souls of those around you.”
Tamil movie director Manirathnam’s movies tend to grow upon you as you rewatch it again revealing new nuances each time.
Sometime back I saw the movie ‘Sardar’ a biopic on Sardar Vallabhai Patel, the Iron Man of India. It started a spate of my viewing Indian biopics of the freedom struggle and other post independence movies based on truth.
2. Shyam Benegal’s very factual and eloquent movie “Bose” in Hindi on Subhash Chandra Bose was real impressive.
3. Mangal Pandey, the rising, Hindi movie.
The Hindi biopic on Ambedkar.
4. Several Hindi versions of Bhagat Singh’s biopic is available.
5. Jinnah’s biopic
6. Periyar movie.
7. Bharati, the poet, Maha kavi.
The movies Gandhi, Kamaraj, Kappalotiya thamizhan, veera pandiya kattabomman, Bhag Milkha Bhag, Paan singh Tomar, Madras cafe are all based on true events and are a must see.
The movie ‘Ben Hur’ that got the most oscars and is now tied with ‘Titanic’ for the feat, is a fact well known. In that period movie, a red blur of a Ferrari in the background, seen in the chariot race sequence is also mostly known. It isn’t a big deal, just a minor editing oversight or more aptly a slight miss in continuity verification. There is a popular rumor that actor Kamal Hassan’s ‘Thevar Magan’ didn’t get an Oscar only because it was evident that a doll was used in place of a dead child. First of all, I don’t recall ‘Thevar Magan’ ever being nominated in the ‘Best Foreign Feature Film’ category, which is the only category it can be eligible for. I am not here to belittle anyone or any awards or even the quest for perfection. I’ll only explain why the Oscars are a different beast, of course the title of the post and concede there are a lot many glaring errors in these initial blog posts of mine that shall not be corrected.
‘Slum Dog Millionaire’ is a British film shot with an Indian cast and with mostly British technicians and was shot in the English language. But that isn’t the reason for it being eligible under all categories, the mere fact of a movie of any language, being released widely in a particular region in the U.S, is the eligibility criterion. Julia Roberts had conveyed several roles worthy of an Oscar even before ‘Erin Brokovich’, not that it was one of her lesser role; but this fact known even by me might have been what prompted her peers to give her the award. They even had an African American themed Oscar year. Like Julia, of course Denzel Washington is worthy of even more Oscars. I heard that the one who got the lifetime award that year was even more fiery on the screen than Denzel. The timing of an accolade doesn’t limit its merits. A great Scottish piper might be unknown to us as ‘Isai Gnani’ Ilayaraja’ might be not that much known to the larger world. The piper might be no less than our Raja.
I once knew a person who was working as an assistant to K.Balachandar and he said that if someone came to the Doyen and suggested that the continuity was missing, he would guffaw them away. This would mean the props might have been shuffled around during the same scene, which is an error. But the creative genius of K.B is such that you will never notice the props or notice it only when he wants you to. If this is hearsay, the next is total rumour. K.B’s student Kamal is known for his attention to details. I heard that during one take of ‘Marudhanayagam’, he threw prop spears at a wall and when they broke, he ordered them to be replaced with battle worthy spears. Perfection impedes improvement they say but only striving for it shall make any creation worthy.
In my blogs there are several grammatical errors, some I know, some oversight. For instance, in one post I wrote ‘In short, determining the truly guilty isn’t as easy as the society seems to do’; obviously ‘seems to think’ is correct grammar and this isn’t. But society didn’t think but condemned. A few more lines could have rectified this. A worthier person might have found the right word at the right time. Time for that sentence was up and I moved on. Quill pad forced errors are self evident in my tamil typing. There is a switch in point of view from third person to first person in both the About or Home page and the tamil short story. In fact the abundant quill pad errors helped disguise my tamil spelling errors especially in ‘na’s and some ‘ra’s I constantly make, ‘la’s I can manage. I don’t want to labour over this. Even more voracious tamil reading will one day make it a subconscious act of perfection.
This is no excuse. “Constraints make art beautiful” is the topic of a future blogpost. Constraint of time is the only saving grace for my work so far. My rhymes lack meter and don’t even rhyme most times, they aren’t free verse either. I don’t want a free verse but let meter and rhyme perfection guide my thoughts. But I won’t slave over any single rhyme, let them be spontaneous. By no means, can I fall at the feet of a doyen like Kanna Dasan and his spontaneity, using my english. He is the perfection I strive for and with time I can at least be a mole beneath that mountain hill. But that should evolve with time and practice and not slaving over these spontaneous posts. One day some level of such perfection should be spontaneous for me.