செவ்வுள்ளம் (Red soul)

(This is a tamil poem but english paraphrase but not translation is given below. Once my dad wrote a page long poem spending great time and showed me and I after admiring it flipped the page and fastly scribbled these four lines.)

அந்தி மறுகும் செவ்வானம் அழகெனினும்,

பிந்தய நினைவுகளில் மிஞ்சி சிவக்கும் உள்ளம்,

இன்று தொற்றேன் என அகிலம் பறயாற்றும் ஆனால்,

வென்று நின்றேன் அவ்வானை என் கிறோத கனலினிலே.

Though the twilight pining red sky is beautiful,

old thoughts exceed as the soul reddens,

today I lost, the world may decree,

yet I stood conquering the sky with my red hot anger.

The fire invisible

No one saw it burn,
no one felt its warmth,
but it grew with each morn,
no one heard its breath,
but it was there somehow born,
even without fuel,
and with water all around,
after suffering the duel,
it nevertheless went ahead,
and became very cruel,
though it seemed vague,
shut inside the cage,
it spread like the plague,
with a wild rage,
was it too late,
the heat was unbearable,
efforts to stop were in vain,
the nightmare was terrible,
it caused too much pain,
still no one noticed the trouble,
no one knew it burn,
no one knew its warmth,
it grew with each morn,
no one heard its breath,
yet the fire in me is still burning.

Little Boy

(This was written when I was a school kid)

 

Little boy sweet and shy,

what joy with wings to fly,

in innocent dreams up very high,

at your feet happiness lie;

but what use joy had yet unknown,

the memories fade into oblivion,

you know no miseries,

all seem to be mysteries;

you made of pure innocence,

enlighten many by your presence,

you still blinded by ignorance,

teach us great lessons;

you’ll soon part your ways,

not knowing ahead what lays,

if i’ve to chòose my days,

I’ll choose my childhood rays.

 

 

 

 

Journey Half Done

Journey half done when there was a pause. Rested a while stretching my limbs. For I was tired longing, carried around in the palanquin. Travelled on loving hands and shoulders as a baby and kid. Did walk on my two feet for a while as adult before crashing and burning. Accident prone, carried by others from then. Even dependent leaped time and again from shallow rock to rock or risked jump from a mountain, to grasp success, wiping away shame to justify existence. Alas, learnt too late I was to be forever failure’s child. Not a bad fate really, for more joy had resting in its shade than pining and tiring after success. Successful run hardest reaping benefits. Yet know the hut of happiness opens to both the same. Accepting defeat and solitude without life partner, leave no legacy in the form of heir or achievement or a lifetime of work to benefit others. My life view is a disaster but it is my all. Imparting it will be a treachery I dare not cast upon my vilest foe. Long back scribbled verses advising my daughter of my dreams. Words cast forth were alien to my being yet attempt to dissuade her from my fate or fate I wished for and implore her to a path world scorned. This counsel may be idiocy yet can be held in the recess of mind as one goes through life. An alternate never pursued yet ever held and used in need.

Focused toiling ants feed, so do hopping grasshoppers,

slow, steady tortoises may win, as fast, lazy hares lose,

what if hare’s nap worth the prize of tortoise toppers,

accept reality, never chase, for joyous the cruise.

 

Why chase a star

Why chase a star, just gaze,

See fireflies glow brighter,

Thrill of chase, fame’s daze,

Quit to find world lighter,

welcome any unwilled success on your path,

never tire by walking to it, don’t desire,

joy and pain, a random chore like the daily bath,

burn bright each morn even as night douses the fire.

Not odd

Not odd, refuted god, in today’ sensible science,

if chaos our origin, no blame in my chaotic life,

sought god in despair though, unheard my lines,

troubled times yet innocent rhymes, why such strife;

faith good, yet not had willing, held me wise,

need god in life yet just dust after end my belief.

 

Few new murder mysteries

Hi

Been a while since the last post to post something other than a so called poem. I like stories of detectives solving crimes, hard boiled typical ones. In search of them I stumbled on a few that weren’t typical and yet I didn’t grudge them. When heard of Rowling writing these under a pet name Robert Galbraith, pounced. First one was okay but really couldn’t keep reading subsequent ones for it didn’t impress much. Anyway the books mentioned here aren’t the typical mysteries but very gripping tales with great style and narration.

Secret Place – Tana French

Not so normal family

Sharp Objects

 

 

 

Go away, silly one

Go away, silly one, that don’t know of loss,

dub yourself loser, leave joker, laughter not here,

wailed a lady in crowd, all noise did pause,

now clad colourful, old black dresses didn’t smear;

I spoke, I lost but a dream, not living, loving soul,

came not to mourn or share, yet I do care,

gone days of joy, nights of sleep, dreams stole,

gone thunder, rain, rainbow and lighting’s glare;

what desert, as gone the sand beneath my feet,

gone breeze, even mighty sea without time to see,

gone sweet home, now a thorn, my last retreat,

no refuge, no place known to shelter, nowhere to flee;

innocence lost, ignorance cost, spoilt forecast, time flew fast,

gone courage, morals, little laurels, tears and laughter,

gone stories, movies, idle banter, carefree canter of past,

know not where all went, my life spent, grew softer;

pride, confidence, dreams gone with skill and wisdom,

never lost any near and dear, just lost an empty dream,

not compare losses, my misery trifle, akin to boredom,

you lost forever, loved ones, to death, time’s stream;

music, song, poems and prose scribbles died long ago,

forgot drinks, dinners, friends with just cigarette in hand,

didn’t love a soul, lost none, yet your grief with me grow,

despite troubles and sorrow, your feet planted firm on land;

for you love and so live, I merely forgive, you strive, you give,

give your thought and action calmly to those that remain,

those gone, a strong memory, you forever mourn and grieve,

parent, sibling, child or friend, leave void, stain uncleared by strain;

but folks enshrined in history to pavement dweller has to leave,

all love, except vile like me that can’t, from terrorist to rapist,

even I can’t deny being loved, a love that can’t be worn on sleeve,

gone sun, stars, days and nights, not the memory in our midst;

cherish memory with tears or laughter,

dead find lease in your memories, yet how long,

perish with you, you a memory, ones in your’s, lost chapter,

no matter, unsought immortality, till lasts hear love’s song;

Go away confused one, come when know what you want, what to say,

let us in peace pray, why without clarity or purpose, you here stray?

(This is partly done and shall be continued in future posts)

 

 

 

 

Little Things vs Details

‘Little things’ and ‘Details’ tend to mean the same in general. Here with a context they shall mean different things.

‘The devil is in the details,’ they say. What it means the details or the minor things or trivia (or the little things) matter the most to get the desired consequence in an investigation or a writing project or any such thing. Of course details here mean the bigger things too are included with the minor to get an elaborate inclusive view of the situation. The devil can mean a few things but I take it to mean the finer points or details are the trickiest as opposed to any negative connotation.

‘Happiness resides in the little things of life.’ Well a line by me though am sure there must be a similar well known line. Here it means only those trivia of life forgetting the bigger picture or other major things in life.

What exactly are these little things? They are of course myriad yet one analogy seems fine. It is anything like doing a homework… or not doing it. Yes, anything, for as long as it is a little thing it can either be good or bad and never evil.

Routine like brushing, bathing etc are little and though we never have to focus on them we must realise that when not done it tends to spoil our day.

I haven’t mentioned things like dew or a rainbow or a surprise rain or other natural beauty or man made magnificence as you can very well fill it up better with things that pop in your mind when you think of little things.

A child’s smile, yes of course, so the next time smile back and play with it, simple like doing homework. If you’re bored playing take leave, not bothering about the audience, simple like not doing homework.

The auditor has requested details of your shop, sales is dwindling yet nothing can be done till the accountant arrives. Important client mail to be sent at your office, a few meetings to be scheduled, prepare a vital presentation but nothing can be done without the secretary returning from lunch. There is the game on your mobile, jokes on your computer too but not now with these worries you think. But why not? Is there none to talk to while away time. The janitor is working and you’ve seen him pretty much like another office apparatus and can’t talk now. Why not? At home you not only carry the work woes but also face great family woes. You envy your wife and daughter watching a TV series as you go for your regular walk. You remember that you have a movie you’ve been meaning to watch or that unfinished book, but do they matter really now. Yet some view getting in to these little things as helping reduce the stress in the modern world. Maybe after the walk instead of hurrying to bath you can sit and watch the movie with your wife and daughter. It is a worthier investment of your time I say, but unfortunately won’t happen often. So instead of sulking or dominating just watch TV with them with the remote in their hands.

Take time to connect to people both inside and outside of our work, and keeping it healthy by our regular presence, in at least a couple of social groups live if possible  and if not over the net. This is a healthy thing. Family, relatives, friends, colleagues, friends of friends, acquaintances are the overall break up of  people in our lives. Yet only if we keep in touch with them regularly in today’s world with phone or the net can we make them part of our network where one can rely on each other.

Forget all. Little things like a smile, a handshake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a salute, verbal welcome, warmth go a big way to create heaven on earth. Why should couples monopolise holding hands as long as held in affection by others. Take time out for movies and books and then share it with friends and folks though they might not be in  to it. The regular soft drink for an addict and a rare soft drink for a sugar patient, a blind catching a movie in theatre, Ice cream in the cold rain dancing with joy, parties frequently for no apparent reason but not just with regular crowd but maybe the old parents or younger siblings also invited. These and more little things and little exceptions are what makes our lives pleasurable and not the big money and big successes.

 

A tiny world

A tiny world is this blog,

that mimics life,

for I familiar faces log,

but disappear without strife;

to return a stranger to all,

sad it happens also in my reality,

for alone I falter and fall,

busted long ago hoax of my ability;

yet giving up on hope,

I have learned to live,

giving up climb don’t need rope,

no need to accept though I can’t give;

dawned that should never be serious,

and in levity rest all that was furious.